Just in case you don’t get the point here this is actually a satirical post, and not factual. These events may or may not have happened, we were not privy to any conversation that may or may not have occurred.

Meeting Date: 4/5/2016. Present: Robert Elstone, Darren Griffiths, Graham Stuart

RE: Morning Graham, take a seat.
DG: Nods enthusiastically.
GS: Morning guys, what’s going on?
RE: Nothing to worry about Graham. You may have noticed the recent meltdown on social media about the Manager?
GS: I don’t use social media sorry.
RE: The recent protests after the Bournemouth game that ruined Bills favourite song being played at full blast?
GS: I was in the lounges sorry with our guests.
RE: Anyway the point is that a couple of fans seem intent on getting us to sack Martinez! Bill is incredulous, as we all know Roberto Martinez is the best manager of a generation.
DG: Nods enthusiastically.
GS: OK, I mean I guess that we are in a results business and the results have been poor, so I can see where the fans are coming from.
RE: Results? Have you seen our pass completion rates over the past three seasons? Our average possession per game. What do you call that if not progress Graham?
DG: Nods enthusiastically.
GS: Right anyway, I’m busy and I don’t see how this involves me?
RE: Well Bill wants to to use your platform as a Club Ambassador to say that you are fully behind the manager. The fans trust a club legend. I mean we’ve tried getting Joel Robles to say it but the fans just say that he was bought by Martinez and has just been made number one by him so why wouldn’t he?
GS: So let me get this straight…you want me to use some of my credit with the fans to tread the company line?
DG: Nods enthusiastically.
RE: Nods enthusiastically.
RE: It would look really favourable on your upcoming performance review.
GS: What if I say no?
DG: Looks nervous.
RE: Well let’s just say that some think having three club ambassadors is a touch on the extreme side. You are the first I have come to, I could ask Ian or Sharpy, I am sure they would be willing.
GS: No, no it’s fine just write what you want and put it out.
DG: Nods enthusiastically.
RE: Nods smugly.
RE: Ok Graham that’s all thank you…oh by the way Sky are in later to do the interview.
GS: Leaves looking shellshocked.
RE: Ok Darren get the next one.
DG: Nods enthusiastically.
— meeting ends

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Dan, the owner of this site, has supported Everton all of his life and has been attending games for the past 20 years on and off. A season ticket holder for many of the attending years, Dan has seen the ups and downs of Everton from Kendall, Walker, Royle, Smith, Moyes and now Martinez.


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